That's right. Caffeine is my salvation, and through caffeine, all things are possible. Those who know me know that I got really sick last summer, and the gastroenterologist asked me how many servings I had of caffeine per day. I replied, "I don't know, like three?" (which was a total lie anyway). He thought I was lying, or an idiot, so he made me fill out a "caffeine work sheet." Apparently I was drinking not so much 3 servings a day, more like 12 to 15. MY BAD! Then I had to leave him and get some more coffee.
Fast forward almost exactly a year, and I have really backed off the caffeine. Which is hard, given my lifestyle. I drink more tea, and more water, and never get a large espresso drink anymore. But on some days, tuesday being one of those days, it's just not enough. I stopped at a gas station looking for my favorite emergency caffeinated crack pick-me-up:
Alas, Monster Loca Moca was not in stock. It's actually not that strong, and the reason I don't buy it on a daily basis is more related to the fact that there are an awful lot of useless calories in there, and I am trying to be a little more grown up about that type of crap. BUT the other afternoon I was crashing and needed something (and I HATE red bull), so I went with what appeared to be a logical choice: Rock Star Zero Carb.
Now, when your friendly neighborhood Swamp Thing picked it up out of the refrigerator case, I was SURE that the label said, "50% more caffeine than regular coffee." For me, at that moment, that was a great selling point. I drank the whole 16 oz can (like 2.5 servings) in about 15 minutes, and all of a sudden I got REAL cracked out and re-read the label. That's right, "50% more caffeine than REGULAR ROCK STAR." Not "than coffee." Plus all the guarine, tuarine, goji berries or whatever else crap is in there, windex, etc..
Dammit. I proceeded to act methed out around my boss and coworkers for the next 3 hours. I got "not enough" work accomplished and couldn't even keep my eyes focused on one thing, let alone keeping my brain focused. I went home, crashed AGAIN when the "Zero Carb" finally burned out, and did not go to the gym, or do anything useful at home that whole night. WTF.
So I am re-upping my commitment to behave myself with the caffeine (I swear it's easier with alcohol than caffeine) and keep it to 2 or 3 "real servings" a day. Now I need to go make some coffee before I head out to work....