So, me and the gang was driving from Roanoke to Blacksburg early on Saturday morning. We had not had any caffeine, and not really much sleep either. Rolling out of the western end of the Roanoke Valley, Fort Lewis Mountain hung over us to the north, with Poor Mountain laying to our south.
I-81 is strung through that end of the valley, eventually forced upslope past the headwaters of Knob Creek. At least I think it's Knob Creek. Where the hell is my Excedrin, anyway?
So as the truck gears down to chug up Poor Mountain into Montgomery County, we see the rear end of this atrocious blue bus ahead of us, going slower than time:
We immediately start cracking jokes, like, "Oh snap, Tammy Wynette is headed to College GameDay!" (okay, that would actually be awesome). Followed by 4,000 unfortunate jokes about Joe Diffie, Garth Brooks, and Billy Ray Cyrus.
As we keep rolling up on the Turquoise Bus of Doom, we see a giant "R.S." painted quite cheesily on the back of the bus. OH, NOW IT'S ON. Because technically the Roanoke Valley is just an extension of the Shenandoah Valley, and e'rybody knows that the Statler Brothers are from the Shenandoah Valley (right? Y'all knew that, right?), we got super fired up and started yelling, "HEY! Is there a Statler brother in there? Which one? I didn't think y'all had a RONNIE Statler! C'mon now!" I mean honestly, is it that difficult to believe that a lone Statler brother might own a blue custom tour bus? I mean, three of them wear turquoise and/or bright blue in real life: Exhibit A:
|Any of y'all named Ronnie Statler? Rob? Rahim Statler? Reed? Richard? Rudy?|
So let me back up for just one second. My friends and I
Go get 'em, ol' boy! Long Live the turquoise rambler!