Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Ways in Which My Three Year Old Has It Tough, Smartphone Edition

I really love being a Dad.  Being a dad has brought me a level of serenity and patience I've never known in my life.  But sometimes, when I've worked two jobs in one day, and I come home after the righteous, twice weekly 15 hour day, and I walk in the house at 10pm and my son is still wide awake and wanting to play with action figures -with me -, I think to myself, "I was born a generation late and a generation early."   We all know what the Baby Boomers have managed to achieve (wealth vs. cost of living not likely to be replicated in this country....EVER), so there's no need to retread that, but so many people may be out there, asking, "How are the kids handling this crazy world, these days?'  Well, I'll show  you, straight from my Android. 


$5 milkshake and $4 muffin not suiting his palate.  Yes, he also has a balloon. 

Largely disaffected over the quality of the ice-cold organic raspberry lemonade he is drinking
out of a holographic Spiderman cup.  While I run around and clean dead rats out of rat traps.

Barely interested in the fact that 30 year old men will comply
with requests like, "Now you have to put on a Batman mask!"

Photograph taken a few seconds before this mustache was declared to be "too hairy."

Spent 40 minutes at the playground with his "girlfriend" C in this exact pose,
no idea what they were talking about, but it appeared to be serious.
Afterwards, they played sprint-tag FOR AN HOUR. 

This pushup is too melty.

Enjoying "Home Alone 2" but with no remorse over the fact that Mom and Dad can't watch
the TV for the entirety of this 4-hour showing (commercials). 

Demanded to go outside to "draw a picture of rocks."

Only slightly less than bonkers even when presented with bedtime reading like "THE STORY OF DARTH VADER."
When I was a kid, we had to read crap like "Amelia Bedelia."

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amelia Bedelia is dreadful, and she's an idiot.

Kirk River Mud said...

Hahaha. Thanks, that made my night!

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